EPL Update

Unpaid again this week by Portsmouth management, Younes Kaboul resorts to selling the shirt off his back

What a week in the EPL. Only 3 teams grabbed full points, two by defeating top four sides (Wolves over Tottenham; Villa over United). Andrei Arshavin’s fantastic game-winner was made to look pedestrian by Wigan’s Maynor Figueroa. Watch for that one to pop up in Wonderland later this week.

Stoke City 2-2 Wigan Athletic

ESPN got their money’s worth showing these two rollercoaster riding clubs on Saturday morning. A back and forth game completely worthy of global television was made more special by the above-mentioned Figueroa goal. From his own half. Far post, as if that even mattered.
Birmingham 1-0 West Ham United

Bolton 3-3 Manchester City

See last week’s update. Manchester City is like a really fast guy who refuses to tie his shoes no matter how many times he trips in the final ten meters of the race.

Burnley 1-1 Fulham

Chelsea 3-3 Everton

After going two months without giving up a goal at home, Chelsea has looked very shaky in the back for two weeks straight.

Hull City 0-0 Blackburn

Jozy Altidore was fouled in the box. There was no call. Anti-American bias? Probably not, but we’ve all moved past the Henry handball so it’s time for a new conspiracy theory. Altidore’s increase in playing time coincides almost perfectly with Hull’s run of good (well, better than before) form.

Sunderland 1-1 Portsmouth

Tottenham 0-1 Wolves

Manchester United 0-1 Aston Villa

Aston Villa goes into Old Trafford and shuts out the defending champs. It helped that Wayne Rooney looked like he belonged in CASA rather than the EPL.
Liverpool 1-2 Arsenal

After the Glen Johnson own goal that tied this game up, my roommate turned to me and said, “At halftime I was going to tell you not to worry about giving the lead up late because they’ll probably blow it right at the start of the second half. I’m glad I didn’t.” How many other Liverpool fans watched the Inter Milan game at 9am on Sunday and thought, “I remember when I heard Wesley Sneijder was available and I thought he’d add some much-needed creativity to our paint-by-numbers team,” then thought the exact same thing two hours later when Arshavin pulled on the Arsenal uni? Glen Johnson cost more than both those guys.