Cristiano Ronaldo is a man who has had a tough time this year. In January he crashed his Ferrari 599 GTB. That left only the Aston Martin DB9, the BMW M6, the Phantom Rolls-Royce, the Bentley Continental GT Speed and three Porsches with which to get to practice since the new Bugati hadn’t yet been delivered to his now paltry and meager garage.
Not only has Ronaldo’s been forced to hang out with supermodels, he had to leave beautiful Manchester for dreary Madrid because his agent got him the biggest transfer deal in the history of transfer deals.
And not a moment too soon. After personally winning the Ballon d’Or and being declared the FIFA World Player of the Year, the crappy team he had been stuck with before the transfer could only manage to win the Community Shield, the FIFA Club World Cup, the League Cup and it’s third consecutive league championship yet somehow got knocked out of the FA Cup and lost the Champions League final.
And he’s got those 3000 situps to do every day, all of which is no consolation for a dodgy ankle.
And then last Sunday, he gets sent off in Real Madrid’s 4-2 victory over Almeria.
It wasn’t his fault that he took off his shirt after scoring a goal – should a man be given a yellow card simply because the fans wish to admire his admittedly very attractive abs? What’s the point of doing all of those situps if a man can’t share the results with an adoring public?
And what if a man takes a penalty kick that is then saved by the keeper only to have a teammate put the ball in net? Can a man be blamed for wanting a moment of quiet, thoughtful contemplation and introspection to ponder what might have been rather than join his teammates in celebration?
And if a man is guilty of, as in the words of his coach, being “involved in a series of fouls” and then receives a second yellow card for “kicking out” at an opposition player who is clearly a vastly inferior player in terms of footballing skill, size of paycheck, physical attractiveness, the number of cars in his garage and who also happens to play on a much smaller club, what is that man to think when his coach then says of him that he is “nevertheless a creative player who doesn’t deserve to be sent off” since “other players make many more fouls and never see a red card”? It can all be very confusing to a man.
Well, all a man can do is apologize and admit that he is “human” and that he “made a mistake,” that he too has “flaws.” That said, what can a man do but then emphasize that he is a “professional” and a “perfectionist” who “doesn’t like to miss or lose.”
For when he does that man feels “sad.”