Looking back, I have to place the blame not at the feet of the juvenile siblings but rather the solemnity of the service. Years later, while working on a service project in the Bahamas, I had the chance to attend mass at a Baptist church. I was shocked when I witnessed singing, dancing, and clapping. The energy and enthusiasm were palpable. I was captivated. The atmosphere was electric.

Fast-forward to 2008 and the Theater of Dreams, Old Trafford, home of Manchester United. My first experience with live English football just so happened to be the Northwest derby and one of the most heated rivalries in world football, Manchester United  versus Liverpool. I was blown away: by the size of the stadium, the green of the grass, the massive dimensions of the pitch, and just how frigging cold it is in England in March.

But most of all, I was blown away by the atmosphere. I sat in the “Clock End,” opposite the famed Stretford End (and preferred second half target of the Red Devils). It would have been an unremarkable area if not for it being adjacent to the traveling Liverpool supporters. For no less than two hours, the away fans sang their hearts out, from the iconic “You’ll Never Walk Alone” to the simplistic “Ja-vi-er Ma-sche-ra-no! Ja-vi-er Ma-sche-ra-no!”

Despite being trounced 3-nil—and the aforementioned Señor Mascherano getting an early shower—the Scousers never stopped singing. As a result, several MUFC fans in my section never stopped hurling abuse. Either way, it was an incredible atmosphere, the greatest source of live entertainment to which I’d ever been exposed.

The next year, as a birthday present, my mother purchased me a ticket to a European Champions League game: Bayern Munich versus Barcelona. I didn’t realize just how amazing this gift was until I stepped off the train and saw the glowing orb that is the Allianz. From the outside, the arena in Munich is an architectural marvel. On the inside it is a boiling cauldron of chanting, singing, and flag waving.

From high atop the second tier, I was ensconced in a sea of colored flags and banners. The synchronicity of the booming chants proved a cacophonous weapon for the home fans against mighty Barca, already with a three goal-aggregate lead. It may have also been the impetus for the game’s opener, a stunning strike from Franck Ribery. What you can’t hear on television is that every time Ribery finds the net, the stadium finds the song, “Le Champs Elysees” by Joe Dassin, a homage to the winger’s French heritage. Despite Seydou Keita equalizing and putting the tie out of reach, you get the sense that, if nothing else, everyone left the stadium thoroughly entertained.

After all, football is about entertainment. Isn’t it?

Why then do I feel like I’m back kneeling at the pew, scolded for my sacrilege? So-called purists of the game will complain about modern footballers: the neon-colored shoes, the tribal tattoos, the look-at-me haircuts, and the ultimate desecration of their holy ground: goal celebrations. The ranting and raving of the purists would have you believe they want to return to the days when footballers wore button-down shirts, black work boots and feebly tried to move 20-lb. sewn balls. And sometimes it feels like FIFA, and several football associations around the world, feel the same.

Last week, Neymar, the impossibly gifted Brazilian international and (for the time being) Santos forward, was sent off after being booked for wearing a mask emblazoned with his own likeness. Neymar, after carving up the Colo Colo defense on his way to the third goal in the Copa Libertadores contest, took the mask from a fan and duly obliged him by sticking it on, albeit upside-down. The referee, none too pleased, brandished a yellow card to young Neymar, his second of the evening, sealing his exit.

The previous weekend, AC Milan forward Antonio Cassano, far and away the most skilled Italian playing the game today, was booked for removing his shirt after scoring an incredibly important penalty against city rival, Internazionale. A benign gesture at the time, it later proved fatal when he inexplicably pulled down a rushing Inter player to receive his second yellow and marching orders.

Who me? What about the guy with no pants?

Which brings us to our beloved domestic competition, Major League Soccer. Eric Hassli, French forward for expansion franchise Vancouver Whitecaps, was sent off last week for celebrating a goal against New England for removing his shirt. The referee was unimpressed and, even though Hassli was wearing another Whitecaps top underneath, presented him with his second yellow card of the match.

Now, while I can’t condone Roma’s Mirko Vucinic’s de-pantsing trick from last year’s Euro qualifiers, I can empathize with the above predicaments. Why do we demonize celebration? Why do we adopt a puritanical approach to the most hedonistic of sports? Scoring a goal is one of life’s greatest pleasures. Some have gone so far as to rank its resulting euphoria above the pleasure of sex (I might need to quote Lori Petty in Pointbreak here though and say maybe you’re not doing it right, then).

Nevertheless, scoring a goal is an amazing feeling. Whether it’s in a five-a-side pickup game, a high school championship or in front of 80,000 at the San Siro, it is a wonderful thing. Goals, like those who score them, come in all different forms—delicate chips, blasted volleys, nutmegs, backheels, and headers. Goals are great to watch. But every so often, the goal is surpassed by the goal celebration.

I’ve been watching televised soccer for almost 20 years and in that time I’ve seen choreographed dance routines, corner flag boxing bouts, backflips, and fake boat rides. I’ve watched Romario rock his air baby, Cantona look disgusted with the mortals around him and Fabio Grosso look to be on the verge of tears. I’ve seen Totti suck his thumb and Tevez suck his binky. I’ve seen undershirts with messages written on them, from “Free Palestine” to “Feliz Cumpleanos.” Just this past weekend, Argentinian side Velez Sarsfield celebrated a goal and a “cumpleanos” simultaneously when Santiago Silva ran to the touchline to retrieve a lit candle in honor of a teammate’s birthday.

Sure, sometimes these elaborate gestures don’t go off quite as planned. Two weeks ago we all saw Jermain Defoe’s “100” message written on a shirt underneath his jersey, despite the fact that he failed to score his century goal. Then there are the neo-Nazi salutes, the throat slashes, and a whole host of abusive gestures such as the middle finger and the Barry Ferguson “V”.

But, even the most misguided celebrations are often entertaining. And isn’t that what football is all about? It’s the reason we pay way too much for “authentic” replica kits, the reason we save for travel and ticket costs, the reason we plunk down hard-earned dough week in and week out—so we can share in the pleasure, share in the spectacle, be a part of the drama.

I know, I know—a match-winner removing his top can incite fan violence. Has that ever really happened though?  And if so, doesn’t it say more about the person reacting violently to someone removing his shirt than the bare-chested player himself?

Maybe it’s our puritanical roots. Maybe it’s our jealousy. Whatever the reason, it’s ridiculous to think we should expect our heroes to shuffle back to the midway line silently, like nuns in the cloister, heads bowed in reverence for their savior, Sepp Blatter. And maybe that’s exactly what the so-called “purists” want too.

But not me. I’ll be standing, I’ll be cheering, I’ll be chanting. And when Nani follows up a left-footed strike with a perfect 10 backflip, I’ll be applauding both. Because it’s fun. Because it’s entertainment. Because it’s football, bloody hell.

It ain’t church.

About to get PAID

Aside from determining a champion, a major subplot of the World Cup finals is the emergence of world-class young talent.  Players stepping out of the shadows on this stage tend to earn themselves enormous contracts as the biggest club’s in Europe look to gain in quality and notoriety by snapping up those players who make their mark on the world stage.  After a breakout campaign that made German supporters forget all about injured captain Michael Ballack, 21 year old phenom Mesut Ozil recently became one of this summer’s biggest transfer signings, having been lured to Real Madrid by new manager Jose Mourinho.  Ozil departs Werder Bremen following a summer where most major clubs made their pitch for one of world soccer’s brightest young talents.  Manchester United, Manchester City, Chelsea and Barcelona were all rumored to have tabled enormous bids before Ozil made his final choice to take up residence at the Santiago Bernabeu in Spain’s capital city.

Isn't that special

With the beginning of La Liga play just around the corner and renewed expectations of Champions League glory higher than ever, Mourinho has proven yet again that despite his self-aggrandizing speech, his “The Special One” nickname is incredibly apt.  After all this is the manager who took new money Chelsea on a dynastic tirade through England and departed the West London club only to win the Scudetto with Inter Milan in 2009 before completing the treble this past season (League, Cup and Champions League winners in the same year).  And before all of those successes, there is the small matter of the Champions League title he won with Porto in 2004.  Their only defeat of that competition came at the hands of… Real Madrid.  It seems only fitting that with nothing left to win, Mourinho is trying to do it all again in a new league, with the biggest club in Europe, having to overtake Barcelona in the process.

Not a bad signing

In his first transfer window at the controls of Real Madrid, Jose Mourinho has put a stamp on the club very reminiscent of his early dealings with Chelsea.  Before his hands were tied and he was forced to accept aging superstars like Andriy Shevchenko and Michael Ballack, Mourinho splashed owner Roman Abramovich’s cash on loads of young talent in an effort to build a balanced side that could compete at the highest level for years.  This was no Man City hatchet job, buying everything in site, throwing them on the pitch and praying for results.  There was method and purpose in his decision-making and while certain big name signings never panned out during their time with the Blues; Mateja Kezman, Shaun Wright-Phillips and Arjen Robben, Mourinho managed to build himself a backbone of talent that led Chelsea to greatness for many years in Petr Cech, Didier Drogba, Paulo Ferreira, Ricardo Carvalho, Michael Essien, Ashley Cole and John Obi Mikel.  With this group, Mourinho helped himself to two Premier League titles to go with an FA Cup and a League Cup.

I'm too special for my suit

Fast forward to summer 2010 and Mourinho finds himself in arguably the most challenging job in world soccer.  He replaces Chilean Manuel Pellegrini, whose sacking after one season would be shocking in most situations, considering that his side maintained such splendid league form that their two-horse race with Barcelona stretched the point gap between second and third to an obscenely large 25 points.  Pellegrini’s dismissal and the recent lack of hardware has made the Real Madrid job the ultimate pressure cooker of “WIN NOW” mentality. Tack on a lengthy injury spell on the sidelines for Brazilian superstar Kaka and already the newly appointed manager has an enormous mountain to climb, both domestically and in European competition.  This is not to say that should Mourinho fail to capture the Champions League or La Liga glory in his first attempt that he too will be on the chopping block after only one season.  His pedigree alone has earned him the chance to establish himself, select his players and build a team, but if the results do not follow swiftly, relations in Madrid could deteriorate rapidly.

Talk about special

Getting off to a fast start in his new role, Mourinho has gone out and assembled an exceptional collection of new players for the upcoming season.  In addition to Mesut Ozil, Real have captured powerful German midfielder Sami Khedira (another player who had an immense World Cup) from Stuttgart, highly regarded Argentine winger Angel di Maria from Benfica and setup a reunion with former Chelsea security blanket Ricardo Carvalho.  Throw into the mix Sergio Canales and Pedro Leon, two highly talented homegrown youth players being given their official promotion to first team soccer, and it is clear that Real Madrid is a much deeper side, a direct reaction to their most recent early Champions League exit.  With a grueling domestic season ahead, all the time chasing Barcelona, creating depth within his squad is paramount and all of Mourinho’s new signings can slot into Madrid’s starting eleven without breaking stride, regardless of the competition.

Mark your calendars

Whether or not Real Madrid can overtake Barcelona remains to be seen, but anyone hoping for parity across the Spanish table this year looks to be in for a disappointing season.  However, this year’s edition of El Clasico looks set to be one of the best yet.  On Sunday, 28 November 2010, Real Madrid visits Barcelona and the return leg in Madrid takes place on Sunday, 17 April 2011.  It would be hard to imagine anything other than those two ties deciding the Spanish Champion for the 2010-2011 season.

Spain – AKA: La Furia Roja

Much concern mounted weeks leading to the World Cup with several key players injured for Spain. After their demolition of Poland 6-0 and convincing performances by newly recovered El Nino Ferando Torres and Francesc “Cesc” Fabregas one week before World Cup, the 2008 Euro Champions are is expected to open in great form.

Coach: Vicente del Bosque — Former Real Madrid coach (1999-2003). Took reigns of the Spanish team immediately after their Euro 2008 win.

Players to watch:

Fernando Torres – Striker – Liverpool star, fresh off the injury list.
David Villa – Striker – New Barcelona purchase.  One of Spain’s most deadly strikers
Xavi Hernandez – Center Mid – Barcelona midfielder, considered by many, Messi’s secret weapon.
Cesc Fabregas – Center Mid – Arsenal midfielder, looking to make the move to Barca this Summer.
… rest of the team

Strengths:
Tough defense, masters of the midfield, and world-caliber strikers. Well rounded.

Weaknesses:
… I’ll get back to you on this.

Switzerland – AKA: Schweizer Nati

With their young side taking the U-17 World Cup, Switzerland has begun boasts a fleet of maturing players with lineage. With qualification coming easy for the Schweizer Nati, many expect to see them advance from the group stage.

Coach: Ottmar Hitzfeld — Almost 30 years of coaching history. Took over the Swiss National team in 2008.

Players to watch:

Alexander Frei – Striker – Swiss footballer with FC Basel

Strengths:
Organized midfield

Weaknesses:
Lacking in an organized attack.

Prediction:

Let’s reference the historical data, Spain has always played well in group stages. While I’d like to say they should demolish the Swiss, we’ve only seen convincing wins thus far from Germany and South Korea. I’ll give them the win, but it won’t come easy against a team that performed well to qualify.

Match result – Spain 2 – Switzerland 0

Messi stretches his calves, quads, hammies, and wings (via fanpop.com)

Tell your kid to put away the Harry Potters and the Twilights – a better hero exists.

Twenty-two year old Barcelona forward Lionel Messi scored three goals on Sunday against Real Zarazoga, bringing his total for the past week to eight. It was the second straight league hat trick for the wizard, and he has leaped from fourth in scoring to first. Based upon his past two league games alone, Messi would be tied for 22nd in La Liga scoring. Additionally, his two Champions League goals in midweek gave him four in the tournament, tied for second.

Put simply, Messi cannot be stopped. And he has had every chance to fail. Each major step of Messi’s career has seen him exceed expectations while under amazing pressure. He moved to Spain with his parents when he was young hoping to get picked up by a club that would pay to treat his hormonal disorder. After a tryout, Barcelona bit. When he began getting starts for the first team, he was hailed as the heir apparent to two-time FIFA World Player of the Year Ronaldinho. The Brazilian was on top of the world in 2005-06, having led Barcelona to a Champions League trophy (insane side note: that year Ronaldinho had over 130 shots; only 29 of them were on goal. Of those 29, he scored on 25 of them.) When Ronaldinho was sold to AC Milan, Barca was clearly making room for Lionel Messi. And the Argentinian – then under 20 years of age – did not disappoint. In fact, he scored 42 goals in 54 games. In the summer of 2009, Cristiano Ronaldo moved to Real Madrid amid much fanfare. So far this season the Portugese star has 17 goals and 2 red cards. Messi has 22 goals and a clean conscience.

A quick overview of Messi’s otherworldly development:

• 2007-08 league season: 10 goals in 23 games. 2008-09 season: 23 goals in 27 games. 2009-10 season: 22 goals in 20 games.
• Of his 114 shots in 2008-09, 50 were on goal. Of his 108 shots thus far in 2009-10, 61 have been on goal
• He was fouled 141 times in 54 total games in 2008-09. (At 2.6 fouls/game, that’s the exact same ratio as Cristiano Ronaldo)

Need more perspective? Messi is far and away the best player on a Barcelona team that features an 80 million pound striker, the MVP of Euro 2008, and the French National team’s captain.

But what truly sets Messi apart is the magical way he reaches these incredible heights. With only 6 yellow cards (0 red) last year, Messi carries none of the selfish, spoiled baggage that made Ronaldo expendable at Manchester United, or that made Barcelona feel it could part with Ronaldinho. Messi consistently turns in performances that stand out to even the most casual soccer fan.

To get you pumped up for the Union’s first season, here are videos of Messi’s goals from the past week. Let’s hope Danny Mwanga is watching:

Against Real Zarazoga:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Against Stuttgart:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Against Valencia (announcer’s call after the first goal: “I don’t think that needs any commentary, it’s just there for you to enjoy it”):

Click here to view the embedded video.

He pretends the shaving cream is his critics

On Soccernet.com yesterday, Didac Peyret had an article about the rough year Thierry Henry has endured at Barcelona. The story is speculative, draws specious conclusions, and contradicts itself (paragraph 3 questions Henry’s spirit while paragraph 7 is a quote from the Frenchman in which he asserts his willingness to ride the bench if it is in the team’s best interests.)

However, Peyret drops this unsourced bombshell at the end of the story:

Yet, long-term, Henry’s future certainly appears to be away from Barcelona and Major League Soccer now appears the most likely next step

Thierry Henry is having a tough year at Barcelona. Hampered by injuries, the French star has only two league goals to his name and he is probably considering calling Raul to ask where he can buy the most comfortable bench cushions. Even if he’s not in top form, Henry is less than a year removed from a 26 goal season in which he was a key cog during Barcelona’s unbelievable campaign (League, league cup, Champions League winners). The major reason Henry is riding the pine this year is five letters long and has 15 goals this year: Pedro. The Barcelona academy graduate has been spectacular, and his form has been the most prevalent factor in relegating Henry to a sitting position. But be not fooled: Even at his current pace (15 goals in 32 appearances), Pedro would not equal Henry’s 2008-09 output (26 goals in 42 games). As a French soccer journalist version of Mark Twain would have said, the news of Henry’s death has been greatly exaggerated. Despite what Peyret would have you believe, great players like Henry routinely resurrect their careers on top-level teams (see: Ruud van Nistelrooy, Ronaldinho, Nicolas Anelka, Robinho, Wesley Sneijder, Yoann Gourcuff, and Roman Pavlyuchenko (in 2011)).

Henry would be the biggest catch for the MLS since David Beckham, and he is a much more influential player than the England midfielder. However, he would be yet another aging European star to use the MLS as the Warm Down setting on his career’s treadmill. MLS fans: How do you feel about this? Is the prospect of the best French striker in a generation a positive or a negative for the American soccer league?

It's what all of the cool babies will be wearing this spring.

Barcelona fans had much to celebrate the first week of May in 2009. First, on May 2nd, they kicked the bejesus out of Real Madrid 6-2, effectively ending any questions as to who would be La Liga champs. Then, on May 6th, Andres Iniesta scored a screamer of a goal in the last seconds of stoppage time against Chelsea, thus advancing to the Champions League final where they then thoroughly dismantled Manchester United.

Celebrations for many no doubt went on long into the night. For most, the after effect was probably no more than a hoarse throat and lingering hangover. For some, it seems, the celebration of these momentous events will be more lasting.

According to the results of a survey by Barcelona radio station ComRadio of local hospitals and clinics, requests for beds at maternity hospitals have gone through the roof. Births this week, and those expected for next week, are 45% above average.

The El Mundo newspaper quoted Mercedes Rodriguez of the city’s Quiron Clinic as saying, “When we notice some sort of surge we look for the reason and it’s evident that the cause of the increase this week is the euphoria of Barca fans thanks to the huge win (against Real) and Iniesta’s goal.”

According to the paper, in Barcelona the baby boom is popularly referred as “the Iniesta generation.”

No word yet on whether there has been a spike in naming babies “Andres” or “Andrea.”

Pedro saves Barcelona

Soccer and snow – not so good together. So I’m stuck indoors today, watching a brilliant display by Barcelona as it comes from behind to defeat Estudiantes de la Plata in the FIFA Club World Cup.

It was one thing to see Pedro score the equalizer in the 89th minute on a header that just barely floated over the head of goalkeeper Damian Albil, who had some great saves in the game but couldn’t stop that one.

But then Lionel Messi sneaks into the box to score the game-winner with his chest? Are you kidding me? Just a brilliant goal to cap a historic 2009 for his squad.

The shame is you wonder how many people actually followed the match in what’s often an overlooked tourney. (Even I briefly forgot about the one match I knew I wanted to see today, but that’s because I was I gleefully watching Fulham pummel Manchester United.)

Click here to view the embedded video.

As good as the UEFA Champions League is, it’s just that – a club title for Europe.

Regardless of what the Eurosnobs may say, there’s some great soccer being played elsewhere in the world, particularly in Argentina and Brazil’s leagues, which may be the world’s most competitive but  rarely find their way to American viewers. Estudiantes showed they belonged on the pitch with Barca, just barely missing a regulation win when Albil couldn’t stop Pedro. Even at the end, they had one last shot to tie, as a header off Juan Sebastian Veron’s free kick slipped outside the post by mere inches in the game’s final minute.

Having married into a Brazilian family of Atletico Mineiro supporters, I’ve seen firsthand that not all fans worship at the altar of European soccer.

With parity growing in the Argentine and Brazilian leagues, they’re becoming arguably the world’s most exciting, because you simply never know who’s going to win on any given day. Banfield won Argentina’s Apertura championship last Sunday for the first time ever. Longtime Argentine giants River Plate and Boca Juniors finished 14th and 11th, respectively. Imagine Manchester United, Arsenal and Chelsea finishing out of the top 10 while Fulham or Hull City won the EPL championship. It’s like that. That makes for an unpredictable competition.

And I get to work on my Portuguese.

How many of you out there follow these leagues? Definitely curious to hear what you think and whether you, like me, find yourself sometimes more interested in Atletico Mineiro and their likes than you are in which one of the Big Four will win the EPL this year.

I’m telling you, the trophy is this big!

Barcelona winger/striker/wunderkind/noted mullet Lionel Messi won the Ballon d’Or on Tuesday. Messi is the best of the Argentinian young guns who will be stumbling into South Africa under the cocaine-residue-fueled guidance of national hero/mess Diego Maradona. Behind Messi’s emergence as the sport’s best player*, Barcelona captured the league title, the league cup and the Champions League title. Messi led the team in overall scoring (38) and in Champions League goals (9).
Messi received only seven points less than the highest possible score a player can receive from the Ballon d’Or jurors (European footy journalists), an outstanding total from any perspective. What makes this achievement even more stunning is that four of the top five vote-getters were Barcelona players.
Remember how everybody said Al Gore would have won in 2000 if Ralph Nader hadn’t split the vote? Messi had four teammates trying to split his vote and he zipped by them like they were wearing Manchester jerseys in a final.

*Best offensive player. As with all Best of… and Most Valuable… awards, the offensive-minded players get the most props. As the BBC article linked above correctly notes, Messi was given a lot more freedom when Barcelona purchased Dani Alves in 2008. He runs the wing and allows Messi to hold his nose to defensive responsibilities without looking like a poor teammate (cough-cough Cristiano). Who was the best defensive-minded player last season? Any nominations?

Posted via web from The Philly Soccer Page